Online Dating, Where are we Heading?

Is online dating a reality of the future or is it just a passing fad?

   Online dating bothers me because it takes away our ability to respond naturally and be spontaneous. Instead, we now hide behind these little digital screens, change our answers frequently, responding only to people who excite us with their selection of fancy keystrokes and often indulge in multiple online relationships.

   Often we fall in love with a mysterious person behind the screen; we have no way of knowing if he or she is genuine, Casanova or someone desperate just for sex. Online dating affords the comfort of remaining unknown and having many personalities; you can be fat, thin, tall, bald, dumb, prisoner, married, or desperate- but the other side has no idea. The big advantage of online dating is that it is an easy way to meet people. After a long day at work, a few strokes on the keyboard and we now have a love life.

For many of us, the daily rigors of real-life leave us with little time to date and meet others. Some of us work all the time or remain glued to our digital devices and have no time to socialize nor even notice the people around us because our eyes are focused non-stop on the screen. I now ask myself, ‘is online dating a reality of the future or is it just a passing fad?’

Online dating has the purpose of meeting new people and eventually finding a new partner, or sometimes a friend. Overall, it is a means of meeting new people in the comforts of your home and making up as many stories as you want. But today, more and more people join online dating sites without making a real connection. Here are a couple reasons why online dating is failing:

• We get tired and burned out from the ‘window’ shopping and become more superficial in our selections; we quickly select a potential partner based on a photoshopped picture and a few loving words. This leads to a very superficial relationship without a strong bond.
• With too many online options available to us, we lost the ability to focus on only one person. Everyone looks appealing and sexy online, and of course, we fall in love instantly with the body rather than the soul. In doing so, we really not able to appreciate ‘real’ people and what they have to offer.
• With online dating, one is always looking for an upgrade or a chance to meet someone better. But this is an illusion; good-looking people are also looking for their own princes and princesses; so in the end, online dating is not realistic because everyone is chasing the illusive rainbow.
• On one hand, online dating has opened doors for us to meet others, but in many cases, the person on the other side is as good as his/her typing skills and ability to photoshop. Online dating has created the perfect partner, when in reality, most of them have flaws and many times, some of them are only interested in a quick fling to break the boredom in their current relationship or marriage. By constantly surfing the web for a partner, we have lost the ability to appreciate what is in front of us and make the relationship special. We have become conditioned to crave for this false excitement in our minds that have always wanted, many of us constantly checking our apps hour to see if we’ve “connected.”

Many people are looking for a real-life connection, but substitute the connection with an online keyboard — the computer mouse provides us with a feeling that someone cares.

Online dating has increased the numbers of options available to meet someone, but ironically for most people, this is a game; most are not interested in any type of long-term relationship but simply to have a one night stand or a fling. In reality, the chance of meeting someone online as a lifelong partner is very rare. The internet is full of hard luck stories by both men and women who have been taken along for a ride with online dating.

Let’s look at the statistics:

Total number of single people in the U.S. 54,250,000

Total number of people in the U.S. who have tried online dating 49,250,000

Percent of current committed relationships that began online is about 20 % but how many stayed together remains unknown.

Almost 50 million individuals have tried online dating, trying to find that connection, but only 20% of all committed relationships began online. So, despite our online options, we face more and more disconnected. Are these dating apps really helpful in finding someone special or are they a complete waste of time? Sure, there is no question that some people have met a partner online, but for the majority, online dating has been an abysmal failure.

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