Surviving the Holiday Loneliness by expert Molly Hillig Rodriguez

Molly Hillig
“Where you go to create RADIANT relationships. Your love life, your choice.”

What do you notice about yourself during the Holiday season?

 

Do you ever feel alone?

 

This time of year our feelings are amplified and on high alert. It can be easy to notice what we do not have in place of what we do have. Is there an absence in your life?

 

When it comes to the world of love, a sense of aloneness can be chilling. The media, social media, and Christmas cards represent that humans are collectively more joyful and loved this time of year. For you is this true or is this a false representation of what folks are really feeling? There is also a reality for many of us that we have not found our special someone or our relationship is not functioning at its best.

 

If you are feeling a sense of aloneness (in a relationship or singlehood) here are some tips to enrich your holiday experience.

 

 

  1. Try a new activity that involves new people. It is easy to come home from work and sit on the couch or our smart phones. Think of one activity you would like to try and sign yourself up. Maybe it is a Swing dance class, a crafting class or Christmas caroling! Whatever your heart desires to try let it be something new. It will provide the opportunity for you to meet new people and learn something, this is a powerful combination of joy. Yes, it can be uncomfortable doing something different, but the human soul desires novelty.
  2. Write a letter of forgiveness. You do not need to send it BUT writing about forgiveness creates a space of love in your soul. Every human is imperfect including yourself so forgive. Harboring feelings of resentment will bring you suffering and aloneness. Expressing your feelings and forgiving will bring you freedom.
  3. Perform a random act of kindness. Hearts will glow around you when you perform a random act of kindness. Buy a random stranger coffee in line, say Hello to a homeless person or give a cashier a complement. People are hungry for kindness in the world and the more you give it the more you will receive it!
  4. Know that you are never truly alone. Each one of us is loved for the simple fact that we are human. You were put on this earth because you have a gift that no other person in the world has. Discover your gift and share it with the world this Holiday season! Your life will change when you share your gift.

 

Try these four exercises in the world and see what happens in your life. Let me know how it goes. If you know of someone feeling alone forward this article to them it may change their season.

 

 

Speaking from the heart,

 

 

Molly Hillig Rodriguez

 

Surviving Holiday Breakups by Expert Divorce Attorney Brian Thompson

Divorce and Finance – Brian Thompson
“I’m on your side!”

The holiday season can be a difficult time for those in relationships that are teetering on the edge and especially difficult for those whose relationship ends just prior to the holidays.  What can you do to get over the sadness, depression or other feelings that frequently go along with the end of a relationship?

 

  1. Spend time with friends and family – The end of a relationship is simply a reflection of how you feel about and interact with that partner. It does not have to be taken as a reflection of your personal worth.  No matter what went down between you and your partner, chances are your friends and family (even the prying ones) still love you.  Remember that and enjoy some time with friends and family.

 

  1. Attend holiday parties – Continue to enjoy your favorite holiday traditions and parties. If you like to dress up, drink and/or dance at holiday parties, go ahead and do so.  Who knows?  You may just meet your next boyfriend or girlfriend at the bar, on the dance floor or under the mistletoe.  Just don’t throw yourself into a rebound relationship before you have processed your feelings from the prior relationship.

 

  1. Avoid your ex-partner – Try to avoid places where you might encounter your ex, such as parties thrown by mutual friends.  Delete him or her from your phone to avoid the temptation to drunk dial your ex.  Also, lay low on social media – don’t post photos of yourself with some new person you met just to piss off your ex.  This kind of passive-aggressive behavior is childish and just keeps your mind occupied with the ex-partner.  Consider “unfriending” or “unfollowing” your ex on social media so that you don’t see pictures of him or her that cause you to dwell on the relationship.

 

  1. Volunteer and/or donate – Volunteering to help others can take your focus off your problems, both real and perceived, and help create connection to your fellow man and community in which you live. Consider volunteering to serve meals to the needy in a soup kitchen, deliver meals to the elderly, or spend time with the elderly in a retirement community.  Consider donating to a toy drive the money you would have spent on your partner’s gift . . . he won’t miss the socks or tie you would have given him, but the child who receives your toy will be thankful.

 

Whatever approach or approaches you take to survive a holiday break, be thankful that a new year and new beginning is right around the corner.