Stop Being Afraid of Your Sexuality by blogger Toni

Posted On April 4, 2016

I wish I could tell you “don’t worry, sexuality is totally more afraid of you than you are of it.” But that would just be a bold faced lie. You are DEFINITELY the one that’s more afraid. But, why? Why, as women, are we so afraid to embrace our sexuality?

We need to start thinking of it less as a big, ugly monster hiding under the bed waiting to terrorize us in the middle of the night and more like a badge of honor that we wear with pride.

Embracing your sexuality can be a very powerful and rewarding experience.

You are a woman, honey. *snaps fingers in Z Formation*

Be proud of what your mama gave you!

The lesson here is to be confident in your womanhood. Easier said than done, I know, but if you are really struggling with it, here are some easy tips for boosting your confidence:

COMMUNICATE OPENLY

We often drive ourselves crazy overthinking every single little detail of every single little thing. We ruminate for too long on the same tiny little thing and let it manifest into something way bigger than it actually is. This causes a lot of self-doubt. It’s pretty damn hard to feel confident about anything when you’re constantly over-thinking and second-guessing yourself.

Stop thinking so much and start talking more. Stop being so afraid to let people in. Express your ideas, opinions, and concerns. Share your expectations and your desires. Simply communicate openly with those around you and you’ll be surprised at how satisfying and rewarding it really is.

The most candid and open conversations I ever had were with a guy I dated. To this day, even though we’re not together anymore, he knows me better than anyone else.

We would sit and talk about the weirdest things for hours. We shared our deepest secrets and fantasies, the ones you literally don’t ever speak of to anyone. We shared our most embarrassing stories. We asked each other insanely invasive personal questions and relentlessly dug deeper and deeper into corners of our minds we had previously only kept to ourselves. And through those conversations, I learned more about myself than I ever would have one my own. It truly was liberating. I had never let someone in to that depth before. It was exhilarating. My confidence skyrocketed. I suddenly wasn’t overthinking or second-guessing what it meant to be Toni; the more open I was, the clearer it became.

Once you embrace yourself for who you are and learn what it means to be just that, you start to gain confidence. When you have a lot of confidence in yourself, embracing your sexuality and your womanhood will closely follow.

BE DEMANDING

Know your worth and demand that others treat you accordingly. I myself have struggled with this a lot. It took a long time for me to realize just how badly I was compromising myself and my own needs in order to “make a relationship work.” I was accepting far less than what I deserved from some stupid guy who clearly wasn’t even good enough for me anyway.

We’ve all done it! We’ve all tolerated the same type of crap from the same type of douchebag guys who somehow make us believe we’re not worthy or good enough to expect or ask for more out of them.

Well ladies, it’s time to put your foot down. If you can’t see your worth, how can you expect anyone else to? YOU have to be the one to demand better.

We’re told all of the time not to be too high maintenance or “needy,” but that’s just a load of bull. Women are allowed to be demanding. You have needs. Whether they are needs in the bedroom, emotional needs, spiritual needs, or even needs of survival, you have a right to demand that those needs be met.

A big part of embracing your sexuality stems from never settling for anything less than you deserve, as well as knowing what you want and going after it without

hesitation.

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EXPLORE YOUR CURIOSITY

If you are curious about something, try it. What’s the worst that could happen? Trying something new in and of itself is thrilling and arousing. Be adventurous. Push your limits. Exploring your curiosity will teach you a lot about yourself.

We all think we know exactly what we want or don’t want, what we like or don’t like. But half the time, those are just preconceived notions of what we believe we are supposed to want or supposed to like. But how are you supposed to know where that line is between like and dislike unless you test it out or give it the old college try? You don’t! The only way to find out if something is or is not your cup of tea is to give a go.

There’s no need to be timid when it comes to exploring your curiosity or trying new things. Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back. I think it goes without saying how this one helps you embrace your sexuality…

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ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING

Fake it ‘til you make it is arguably the golden rule of being confident in your womanhood. If you act like you’re a confident bad ass for a long enough time, guess who’s going to actually turn into a confident badass… YOU. So much of being confident is all in the way you carry yourself.

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It’s literally just the law of attraction: you attract what you put out. If you are emanating negativity and apprehensiveness and constantly looking down on yourself, well I hate to break it to you but that’s exactly what you’re going to get back. You have to embody the things that you want in your life.

Even if you’re not quite where you want to be yet, simply act like you are and you’ll get there soon enough. So, if you want to be more comfortable with your womanhood and your sexuality, start acting like your comfortable with it. By doing this, you’ll be able to shape and tailor what that really means to you and then live by those principles thereafter.

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IT’S YOUR LIFE

It is your life and no one else’s so you absolutely need to start living it for yourself. Stop doing things for other people or because it’s what you think you’re supposed to be doing. Do things because it’s what YOU like or what YOU want, because at the end of the day you’re the one that has to be happy with the decisions you’ve made. You have to live in the reality that you have made for yourself. It’s not up to anyone else.

Say what you want to say, feel what you want to feel, and do what you want to do. If want to wear a burlap sac and crocs to the club because that’s what makes you feel like a complete vixen then be the rock star that you are and stock up on some burlap sacs, honey because guess what? Your opinion is the only one that matters.

The only labels that define you are the ones you give to yourself.

Live life by your own standards and make your own rules. Once you see that you are the author of your own story, it’s a hell of a lot easier to accept yourself for who you truly are and it will force you to stop apologizing for being the person that you want to be.

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I’m going to say it again for the people in the back: be yourself unapologetically.

Love yourself and everything that entails. Love your womanhood. Love that you are a sexual being. Love that you have unique value. Show it, wear it proudly, and don’t you dare let anyone take it from you.