Here we are again! The start of a new year and new beginning. Many of us making new year resolutions some us want better jobs, more money, lose weight, break bad habits. Dating is a behavior and just like any behavior we have, we can always improve. Improving our habits of dating starts with ourselves and identifying our behaviors that aren’t allowing us to find our true match.
Some of us settle or stay in relationships that aren’t happy just out of fear. That fear of being alone even though we are lonely can be destructive. It is time to start standing up for the true happiness, true love, and an ultimately better life we deserve. The life of love and adoration from someone that values and cares about you is truly one of life’s miracles.
We rounded up the top 5 Do’s and Don’ts for dating in 2018.
We are surrounded by the notion we are here temporarily, for a moment and must make the most of it.
Love can move mountains, it can stop wars, it can bring life into the world.
Yet, many of us it’s hard to imagine what life could be like if we find true love and ultimately happiness. We are constantly searching for apps, sites, events, even at work to find that one true partner. We need to stop blaming our parents, friends for not setting up us with the right guy or past relationships. We never stop to look at one person that is right in front us ourselves.
My company Luv Talk has spent the last year building our technology to improve our web platform and now our app to help women and men to find expert advice on all things love. The web platform and the app match you with a matchmaker or dating expert to help you gain the skills and knowledge to improve your relationships.
I am proud of my team of developers, designers, and interns who have all dedicated time and skills to have us create the 1st platform for experts to improve love lives of all types of people. I am constantly asked where did this idea come from. While I have stated it was a bad breakup that spawned this idea that is not the complete truth. The relationship was abusive with the guy being both emotional, verbally, and physically abusive insulting my intelligence, drive to be in tech field, and sent me into a deep depression.
While, the world is being forced to examine treatment of women due to the current sex scandals in the media we often forget how difficult it might be to come forward. I have waited to bring light to this situation after months of therapy and dedicating time, money, and my soul into this new business. In a way a company became a way to focus my energy and turn a dark pain into something beautiful to help others find true love and happiness.
Hopefully, this story can help other women come forward not just in telling a story, but to move past the pain. I’m incredibly grateful to every person I have met on this journey and those that have made it possible for me to rebuild. Since I am a woman that loves happy endings and yes even a few Nicholas sparks movies.
I did find love afterall.
Sign up to become a member on our web platform at myluvtalk.com and download our app from the apple store.
We are honored to have the amazing Nicole Xiques of the unguarded heart as one of our relationship experts! We were able to sit down and interview her in this month of Love!
The perfect online dating profile is all about representing YOU in the most real and authentic way. Since this is the “first impression” before meeting, it is best to showcase the true essence that is you. Be sure to write a bio that describes what you like, who you are (the best way you can) and what you are truly looking for. Pick pictures of times that you felt your best and were doing things that made you feel genuinely happy. Be confident in who you are and that energy will shine through on a profile.
I am a fan of non-typical first dates. Sure you can go for drinks, coffee or dinner. However, how about doing something like mini-golf, bowling, meeting for a free concert. Do something that while you can get to know each other, it’s an opportunity to enjoy yourself and not have it be such an interview.
I am a believer that women can most definitely ask a man out. Sometimes there are situations where men don’t know if a woman is interested and her making a move and asking them out will give him the sign that she wants to get to know more about him. I think at that point if he accepts and there is interest from both sides, he can take the lead. Woman should be able to stand in their confidence and make their interest known, allowing the man to then show his interest in return.
As a woman we have an amazing intuition, yet we always feel the need to give men the benefit of the doubt. If something feels off it usually means it is. I think it can go both way. Sometimes a player can be a smooth talker, telling you exactly what you want to hear when you hear but something inside tells you it doesn’t seem genuine. There are also those I don’t know where I stand guys. They show you some interest and then don’t call you for a few days. They might not necessarily be a player, but they sure aren’t interested in getting to really know you. At the end of the day, your instincts can tell if something doesn’t add up and you really need to start listening to it.
Heartbreak is a real thing. Emotions can affect what happens to your body and why heart break can physically feel excruciating. We must truly go through the stages of grief to get past our heartbreak and that means we must FEEL it. Not cover it up, but allow ourselves to process. Many times we re-create the heartbreak by stalking on social media, using coping mechanisms that are unhealthy such as getting drunk, sleeping with other people or moving on right away. Truth is, we need to FEEL our anger, feel our sadness and choose to shift our perspective and see the situation in a different light to gain acceptance. Surround yourself with people who will allow you to be in feeling, empathize and then call you out when you have stayed stuck in it for too long. Begin to do things that will allow you to see your worth, your beauty and true essence so that you can love yourself through the heartbreak.
Oh this is fun 🙂 Some ideas…..Have a picnic on your living room floor (or any other room you’d like). Create a scavenger hunt for you and your partner to do together in your town. Put some date ideas of your own in a jar and pick it out. Go restaurant hopping where you pick a place for a drink and appetizer and don’t tell your partner and he does the same for your next spot. Watch the sunset somewhere with a nice bottle of wine and a speaker with music playing.
I think anything that has to do with cohabitation, living together and doing chores requires COMMUNICATION! Sit down and have a conversation about what things are needed from each other. Discuss what each of you feels is good to split, what person will handle the laundry, cleaning, picking up, etc. It’s so important to talk about it and come up with a plan you both are comfortable with. It also allows you to get clear and detailed about how you want the household to work.
Betrayal is going to happen in relationships. From the little white lie to a huge deal breaker. I think it is important to get clear on what types of betrayal you are willing to work on. For example, if your partner cheats on you, you can decide if that is something you would want to try and get past or not. In those types of situations, my recommendation would definitely be to seek professional help. When it comes to little white lies I believe you need to be able to see if this was a one time thing or a continuous habit. Address it head on, talk to your partner with an open and loving heart to express how the betrayal has hurt you. How your partner reacts will determine your next steps.
Love is unconditional. It doesn’t keep score, it doesn’t blame, it sees the flaws of the other and chooses to love them anyway. It is open, it is vulnerable, it is willing to learn and grow and flourish.
You keep love alive by letting go of being right in order to stay connected to the other person. So many times we choose, unconsciously, to let our ego lead the way of our relationships. Love is pure, it is kind and doesn’t keep a guard up. Keeping the love going takes a conscious effort to making time for the other person, to forgive when they have hurt you and to put their needs before your own. If you have date nights, do something THEY want to do. If they need love and support, give it to them. When you both are coming from this heart space, love can’t die.