As you put on the last finishing touches for your look Saturday night the thought came in your head for the fifth time, “This is going to be my last first date.” You are so tired of the revolving door of first dates you are ready to just hang up this world called dating and just be single for life.

You go on these dates and the guys end up being not what you hoped. They are boring, don’t like the same things you like, your not into him or he just might not be into you.

In order to get to the second date, we have to get through the first. Below are five pointers to get to the second date

Attire

Fishnet stockings, tight red mini-dress that barely covers the butt, and seven inch stilleto heels. Sounds like I’m describing a stripper don‘t it? But that is what my best friend Brandy since freshman year of high school wears on her dates. When asked about her choice of clothing she always says,”I want to catch their attention and hold it. Let them see what can be all theirs.” Wearing an outfit like that he will definitely see what he could have and probably will think he can have at the end of the date. Men are visual creatures. We want to catch their eye but at the same time we don’t want to give off the wrong message.

Unfortunately, we are judged by what we wear. Dress too conservatively, you can be labeled as uptight. Booty shorts and tight dresses can make people think you are ready to take that slut walk the next morning. We want to give out the right impression, especially on the first date.
Here are a few tips I like to follow to look sexy and classy: Expose no more than one area of skin at a time. You don’t want to show everyone everything. Video vixens, prostitutes, and women who only are looking for a good time wear slutty attire to advertise what they are selling. If this is the look you want to go for, more power to you. If not just show one area. When you are getting dressed, choose between thighs or boobs. Which one do you one to draw attention to? Try not to choose both. Legs or a flat tummy? Leave something to the imagination.

Just stay away from slutty clothes. This one is more common sense. See-through blouses, leggings with slits and holes all the way to your vajayjay, big double D’s stuffed in too tight tank tops, jeans with your crack showing all need to stay in the store window. Just don’t buy it.

One piece of clothing that flatters all body types is the little black dress. A black, cocktail dress that hugs all your curves and not chokes them is perfect no matter what size you are. This LBD will look great on anyone. Just make sure it is a few inches above the knee to keep it sexy.

The right shoe will make or break an outfit. To go from ho hum to head turning sexy is the stiletto shoe. Unfortunately, those ankle breaking heels are not the most comfortable shoe to wear. I prefer one with the thickest heel I can find. The skinny heels I just can’t balance on those. I suggest practice walking in them a few days before you wear them out so you want fall flat on your booty. Stilettos are such a sexy shoe, they sometimes can overdue you on the sex appeal depending on what you are wearing. You can go sexy to slutty real quick. Following these little tid bits can help you catch that man’s eye but not distract him from getting to know the real you.

TMI (Too Much Information)

My girl Brandy always says the wrong thing on her dates. I asked her what she usually converses about. As soon as she finished telling me what she likes to talk about I knew exactly where she goes wrong. There are a few things that you just shouldn’t talk about on the first date. I’m not suggesting keeping things from him, but it’s best to wait to make sure the relationship is heading into something serious before you let him know all your secrets.

This should be rule numero uno for first dates: do not talk about your exes. Talking about your past loves can make it look like you’re not quite over them. If you go into great detail; their hang ups, how they made you feel, what they did in the relationship, it can appear that you have unresolved issues with that person. Your date needs to feel that he has no competition for your heart. If your date asks about your exes keep it short and sweet. You want to keep the focus on you, not on your past.

Hate to throw this out here but if you went through a really horrible relationship keep it to yourself for a while. If you did some things out of anger that you could have been arrested for don’t tell him. Busting out car windows, putting sugar in tanks, keying cars, or burning the house down (just joking about the last one) all need to be under lock and key until you know the relationship might be getting serious. The last thing you want to look is crazy. I’m not suggesting waiting until you get married to admit to any crimes, just hold off on the first couple of dates. And vow to release your anger in a healthy way from now on.

Money is another topic that should be off limits, too. Money is a private matter that you shouldn’t share with someone you don’t know. What you make is no one’s business and the same goes for your date. Talking about what you have or don’t can cause you to look superficial, materialistic, or a gold digger. You are getting to know the person not what’s in their wallets.

I have met some men that will talk about sex on the first date. I had one date that wanted to know what my favorite position was and what was the wildest thing I’ve ever done in bed. Now, if I was looking for a booty call, this would be appropriate conversation. However, since this was not the case; that was his first and last date. Sex shouldn’t even come up into the conversation until you get to know the person. That might not be until the fourth, fifth, or maybe even tenth date.

No Sex

Absolutely, under no circumstances is any sex going down on a first date. Nada, no, I would never!! Get the drift? If you are wanting a second date, this will not get you to it.

If you meet a guy and sleep with him on the first date. Chances are he will disappear real quick. The thrill for him is gone. You gave it up too fast. We have to keep our legs closed for a good while and let him show you he is worthy of being with you.

Men will only do so little to get what they want if you let them. If you let them take you on cheap dates, they will. If you let him have your goodies the first night he will. If you let them get away with not calling you for a whole week, they will. Their like toddlers. They will try their best to see what they can get away with.

If you let them have you without putting in any effort, they will take you, and then drop you for someone that will make them put in work. Sounds harsh, but it’s so true!

The women that make the men take them out on real dates, act like a gentleman, and give them no sort of intimacy at all while they are dating, those men respect them more. They will see you as a woman who knows what she wants and is waiting for someone true before she gets intimate. And this also lets him know you are not throwing your vajayjay out to every man that you come in contact with.

If you are dating a man who decides to walk away when you say no, let him walk. That shows he was after one thing and does not have your best interest at heart.

How long should you wait? At least three months. That is enough time to see if he is serious or just hanging out to get some.

I’m pretty sure we have heard of Steve Harvey and his book, Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man. In this book he discusses the 90 Day Rule. The rule states if you are dating a man, you should wait 90 days before you become intimate with him. The 90 Day Rule to me is the best rule to follow when it comes to debating. It should be Bible.

Do No Get White Girl Wasted

This one should be a given however, it needs to be said. You could be having such a good time that you don’t realize you have had three glasses of wine until you think your talking to David Beckham. No your date is not David Beckham honey, that is Luke from Match.com! You always want to put your best foot forward on first dates, so getting wasted is an absolute no. If you know you can’t hold your liquor, don’t drink at all. You don’t want to embarrass yourself and become his date from hell story.

Stay Off The Damn Phone

I’m pretty sure there is nothing new on Facebook, besides another video of a pug falling down the steps. Your friends keep texting you asking how the date is going can wait until the date is over. Put your phone in your Hermes bag and give him your undivided attention. If you don’t pay attention to him on the first date a second one will be out of the question.